


Nervous in a way that can’t be named

by nelly06061



Category: Florence + the Machine
Genre: Angst, F/F, Family, Fear, argument
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2020-01-06 10:20:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18386483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nelly06061/pseuds/nelly06061
Summary: When you channel your emotions to anger, how much will you hurt the one you love? And can they make you feel better....





	Nervous in a way that can’t be named

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to @skyfullofflorence (instagram) for the title and encouragement.   
> For all my Coven xxx  
> All fiction and i own nothing except a copy of lungs on vinyl now wow go me

You had barely slept, and arguments in your family meant you were feeling tense. There was only one person who could calm you down, and it was Florence. You had been together for over a year now, and you loved her more every day. From the way she bit her lip and turned shy when talking about herself, to her passionate ramblings about her love of art, her friends, and you, there wasn’t much you could fault her on. Your views were so similar and you rarely argued, always happy and content in each others company. You didn’t need anything more than to have each other, and lazy days at home with Florence were your favourite.

There was however, one sticking point. Florence was insistent that you should not make your relationship public, saying it would hurt you and put a strain on the both of you. But you wanted nothing more than to show the world your love for Florence, and show off the most important and special thing in your life.

You looked over at Florence, who was reading some poetry book, sitting on the chair opposite you.

‘Let’s go out. Please.’ You said, sitting up from where you had been sprawled on the sofa, staring up the ceiling, lost in your own destructive thoughts.

Florence looked over at you with concern, immediately focusing her attention on you and forgetting about the book. ‘What’s up?’ she asked gently, and part of your heart melted just at the way she spoke so lightly, and how her eyebrows were drawn in slightly with worry for you.

‘My brother got arrested again and my mum’s flipping off.’ you sighed. You always had to hold your fragile family together, and being strong enough for four people often made you feel weak and broken within yourself. But Florence always took time to listen to your woes, and knew how to look after you. 

‘Baby, maybe you should take a step back. You always get stuck in the middle of these arguments and you don’t deserve it.’ Florence suggested calmly, trying to pass on that energy to you. She stood up, and the sounds of her bracelets and necklaces that accompanied her pale blush dress did not calm you as they usually would. As she sat down beside you and started to play with you hair, trying to get you to relax, you knew that wouldn’t cut it. 

‘Please can we go out. I need to just drink and feel loud music making my body vibrate until I can’t even remember my family.’ You asked again, growing closer to tears with each word you said. All you wanted to avoid was an emotional breakdown. 

‘Y/n, we both discussed and agreed we can’t do that. Trust me, you won’t be happy if our relationship gets out. I want to protect you.’ She said tentatively, not wanting to upset you more. 

‘Typical.’ You muttered under your breath however, channelling your emotions into anger instead. 

‘What was that?’ Florence asked, letting go of your hair and looking at you. 

‘I said - typical. You’re always telling me what’s best for me, but how do you know that? Maybe I just want to show the world how much I adore you? How much I love you?’ You snapped back to her, your voice raising slightly. 

Florence was certainly taken aback, but she remained calm to you. ‘I don’t want you to feel like that. I get that is frustrating, because it is for me too. But there are bigger things at play here.’

‘No!’ You shouted, finally losing your temper. You didn’t want her to sit there, speaking calmly as if it was all okay. You wanted to see her passionate and arguing, mainly because you needed someone to fight against. ‘You know what’s more frustrating? The fact I’ve had to look after my mum my entire life; she took my childhood away from me. And I had to sort out all the problems she created, and then look after my brother too. And all I get from them is blame, and complaints. I want something for myself. Stop being selfish and just come out with me!’ You yelled, deliberately trying to rouse her with your last comment. 

But she didn’t take the bait. ‘The last thing I’m being is selfish right now. I know you didn’t mean that. You don’t need to go out, and I know how hard your family has been for you. I’ve always been here to support you through that. But I will not shout and argue with you, and I don’t appreciate being shouted at.’ She replied, her voice becoming more timid, looking up at you from where you had risen to stand without even realising it yourself. 

Through her long eyelashes as she looked up to you, you noticed something unmistakable flash through her eyes. Fear. You looked down at yourself and realised how aggressive you were standing over her, and yelling at her when all she had done was be there for you. 

‘I can’t believe you!’ You scoffed, not knowing how to apologise or change in that moment, although the tension grew between you as you both knew how scared you were making her. You turned on your heel, and grabbed a tenner from the side before slipping on some shoes and running into the night, slamming the door behind you. 

 

It was in the small hours of the morning when you returned, and you didn’t stumble through the door as Florence was expecting, as you had barely been able to drink or enjoy yourself, riddled with guilt. 

Florence was still up, and after crying and reliving her pasts for a while she had put on a record and was sat crossed legged on the sofa, staring out into the night, worrying about you. 

She jumped up as soon as she heard you come in, and stood in the dim light of the hallway, watching you take off your shoes. 

As soon as you looked up at her, your guilt tripled. She had clearly been crying, in what you assumed had been a breakdown, all because of you. She hadn’t got changed and was staring at you vacantly, perhaps still scared. 

‘I’m sorry.’ You said straight away, keeping your distance however. ‘I was completely out of order and I never should have - ‘

‘I’m sorry too.’ She interrupted you, moving towards you and gently placing a hand onto your arm to try and calm you down. Her voice was filmed with emotion, whereas you were keeping yours cold and distant. ‘And I’ve been thinking, maybe you’re right and we should -‘

‘Not tonight.’ This time you were the one to interrupt her. You shrugged her hand off your arm, scared of hurting her more and wishing she would keep her distance.

‘Yes tonight. I’m not leaving this. You deserve to feel loved, not feared.’ Florence said, finally mentioning the elephant in the room. She had a way of reading you in which she could tell exactly why you were doing anything, and she knew it was only out of love that you were acting this way to her now. 

‘Florence, I scared you and - ‘ you started once again, starting to raise your voice again. 

Finally Florence’s calm facade cracked. ‘You didn’t scare me. I instinctively reacted with fear, but I knew rationally you would never hurt me. So stop thinking this is all your fault. This is the fault of men who have hurt me in the past. You are nothing like them so don’t you dare compare yourself to them. Ever.’ She said, her voice almost a challenge to you. She raised her eyebrow at you, waiting for your reply, but you were lost for words. Torn between wanting to scream and run away, and admitting she was right. 

Seeing this in you, Florence took a deep breath before taking a chance. Quickly, she closed the gap between you and kissed you roughly, using the momentum to push you back against the wall. 

You succumbed to her force immediately, the emotions coming from her leaving you dumb. After a minute you began to kiss back, but you were surprised again when she grabbed your wrists and pinned you arms up against the wall. 

This was a side she had never shown you before, but judging by how wet you could already feel you were, it was a side that was going to go down well. 

Although skinny, there was no way you could escape her, as her body pressed against yours and she clearly had more emotional strength than you. 

You couldn’t help but moan slightly into the kiss and she smirked, pleased with how easily her plan had worked. 

‘I am here to give you everything you want and need, not argue with you. Understood?’ She asked, breaking the kiss. She stayed as close to as she could, and spoke in a sultry yet commanding voice. 

You whimpered and nodded, unable to do much more, shocked by the power she was displaying. But that wasn’t good enough for her. 

‘Understood?’ she repeated, with a smirk as she teased you. 

‘Understood.’ You said breathlessly, and as soon as you did she dove in and kissed you forcefully again, taking control in every way. 

‘Get upstairs and get undressed. I’ll be there in a minute.’ She commanded to you, and you felt you had no choice but to nod and all but sprint up the stairs. 

Florence watched you and the smirk faded off her face. She knew this could fix your problems for one night, but she was scared of what the future held for you. As she heard the record she had put on fade out and come to the end, she took a deep breath again and ran up the stairs after you. 

The things you would do for the people you loved. 


End file.
